Penniless Pride
Each year I aim to identify a word to live by. I rarely share it, but quietly wrestle with and aim toward it. The word is intended to frame my goals for the months ahead and fasten a fallback position for when I inevitably lose my way. The process of discovering the word is a journey in itself: I begin with my weaknesses. I sort through the faults that I perceive along with those graciously voiced by others. Where am I not growing? What might God want to refine? Once I catch my breath, I carefully begin to pray and study the Scriptures with a renewed trust in the Spirit’s work of making me more like Christ.
This year’s reflection has helped me realize that I’m not that gentle of a person. And if gentleness is the fruit of humility, I’m not that humble of a person. Offered with her sincere smile and honest affection, my wife, Kate, observed my daily operations: “You could’ve been in the military.” Discipline, game plans, and execution are certainly metrics I’ve aimed to cultivate (a few of my prior words for the year), but I’ve allowed the pendulum to swing beyond its intended center. Tanks are effective, but aren’t known for their subtleties. Indeed, gentleness and humility have become casualties of my daily missions.
To begin one of his more provocative sermons, Jesus explained the inversion of his Kingdom: “The poor in spirit are blessed, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs” (Matthew 5:3 HCSB). It’s a simple statement of belonging which sets the tone of his message and indicts the tone of our world’s. Here on earth the poor in spirit are more often pitied and displaced than positioned and praised. Using economic terms, Jesus sums their pride as penniless. In terms of prominence, they’re paupers. Their humility is unnervingly close to humiliation. But Jesus makes it clear — his Kingdom belongs to them.
Gentle. This is my word to live by this year. This is my word to wrestle with and aim for; to frame my goals and fallback to. When possible, I intend to pray before voicing my thoughts or offering my opinions. I want to consider their reception before their release. I aim to be deliberate in deferring to others. I plan to apologize when I allow problems to eclipse people. I desire to be a gentle person, humble, poor in spirit, like Jesus is. For this is the way of his Kingdom.
